I am worried that my once happy blog is descending into a state of pathetic rant.
I am going to attribute this to the stress of having moved, forgive myself, and get over it.
I ranted to my brother yesterday about my feelings of frustration with family life in general. He pretty much just told me to get over it (in a nice way of course) and I think he’s right.
I hold on to way too much stuff. I think my mom does too.
All I have to do is worry about myself, and what I have to do today. That’s it.
I control my emotions, not the other way around ( I am telling myself every 15 minutes or so….) – my life is fine, and I need to relax. No need to panic.
Last night I didn’t sleep well. I thought of all sorts of people I have hurt, people who don’t like me… then I practiced letting it go.
I watched the hurt and anger float away inside balloons. I put the bad feelings on busses and trucks I heard driving by. I silently forgave people who hurt me, and then I did something I have never done before; I silently forgave myself.
Nothing has felt so good as forgiving myself. I told myself that I am a good, worthwhile person and that it’s okay that I have made mistakes.
I have to say, it was awesome. I feel lighter today.