Hiya. Let me introduce myself. I was born in a small, shadow of a factory town, in the heartland of America. Despite the fact that my childhood smelled like diesel exhaust and cow manure, somehow I managed to be born into a housing project, packed with angry, violent little kids displaced from their urban home. While I was doomed as far as my bumbling parents were concerned, I did have one very caring and loving grandparent who managed to see me through the fray and help me into the adult world.
I left home at 17, engaged. While I was a stellar student, and talented in the arts and music, most people seemed to value me for the domestic functions that I could perform. When I was 19 I finally couldn’t take it any more, and when I saw a chance to run, I went.
I moved to the city, a place I had always dreamed of living. I will say that I managed well to fulfill that dream and I have many happy memories from that decade of my life. During that time I worked as a stripper, waitress, canvasser, cashier, pedicab operator, dominatrix, factory worker, bartender, and carriage driver. I had a few very good lovers, and drank and partied more than I care to admit. My twenties were very good to me.
Well, good, except for I came out on the other end with very little to show for myself except for a couple of hardy addictions. This blog picks up there. I am struggling to figure out what is “real” for myself, because I am getting older, and I want to have something for myself, some stability. This is about my search for family, love, purpose, and security.